Decisions, decisions - 2nd edition

Dear readers,

Since the post got no comment and the poll no answer, I've decided to cancel all the 'Dream' series posts and all related comments.

Thank you.



Later edit: It has been done, 'The Dream' is gone, but not forgotten. 'A rogue tale' dead and forgotten for now.

Decisions, decisions

Dear reader, I have decided to pull down 'The Dream' and 'A rogue tale' series. 'The Dream' series shall receive a rewrite, but 'A rogue tale' shall disapear. My only problem is with the comments. Should i keep them or not?

Alpha Centauri - part X

I don’t mind… but you know that the Alpha Core disapproves all kind of intimate contact between its members… and by requesting to bunk with me you defied this unwritten rule.

I know that… but I know also that the captain will write in his report to the command that he had to do this because of the lack of space… and the other Alphas on board will keep this silent because they all break this rule at some point in their lives.

You have a point there, and because of that we could say that we are safe of all inquisitive eyes, and you are right about what you said the other day… about you being the only one that can help me.

Then we have two options… either sleep either talk about what is happening with you.

Really I do not know… but let’s start with something that will relax us both a little… a drink maybe…

Stop playing with me… you know that we don’t need drinks to relax and talk free and you also know that we are on call 24/7…

They sat on the bed… talking… about them… about their lives in the Alpha Core… about the war they are fighting in…

Dreams within dreams… within dreams… within other dreams…

He told her about his dialog with the creature… what he found out about their motives… why they do what they do…

He told her about his breakdown… about the time spent in the holographic room… about what he felt… his dreams… himself… and what he felt then…

They used words… although they could have used only their minds to ‘speak’ to one another… but words put at rest their own monsters… their own fear…

They’ve fallen asleep in an embrace… they did not need anything else… they were at ease with each other and themselves…

*******

The alarm rang… and all over the ship there was only one phrase that would repeat… ‘All hands to battle stations. All Alphas to the command deck.’

They rushed to the command deck preparing to fight for their lives… or at least die taking most of the enemy with them…

Alarms were ringing all over the ship making a terrible noise.

*******

The alarm rang once again… she jumped out of her bed in a fighting position… ready to extend her mind to take hold of her enemy…

She looked around… seeing an unfamiliar room that said something to her… looking around she realized were she was… the smell of coffee from downstairs filled her nostrils… waking her up and giving her a new grip on life and reality…

Looking around the room she sees her covers on the floor…

What a dream… so intense… so real… but still a dream…

She gathered her cover from the floor and tossed it on to the bed… and than started to walk to her kitchen… the sun was shining through the windows falling on she slender body… revealing all her curves as she walked naked around her house…

She got her hot coffee and walked outside into her garden… to lie in the sun…

A perfect beginning for a perfect day… a new day in her life…

The end

Alpha Centauri – part IX
Alpha Centauri – part VIII
Alpha Centauri – part VII
Alpha Centauri – part VI
Alpha Centauri – part V
Alpha Centauri – part IV
Alpha Centauri – part III
Alpha Centauri – part II
Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part IX

I’m ok, you can go now… I’m sorry I disturbed you… It is not OK for you to stay here with me.

Well I am the only one that can help you and you know that… so I am not leaving.

Go, now!

OK… if you put it that way… I’ll go…

*********

The next morning they were out again into deep space on the way to closest free human planet to let the refugees go and continue their mission when they have been hailed by some transporters asking for help.

The two transporters were full over their passenger limit and required assistance as to move some of their passengers as to continue their journey in safe conditions.

More than 100 and some people have been moved from the transporters to the ship.

Given the dire conditions of the transports and the ship she went to the captain.

CL1 Alpha reporting for duty.

At ease Alpha… although this military crap does not apply to you Alpha. How may I help you?

Given the current circumstances I wish to give up my cabin for some refugees.

And where will you sleep?

I would like to be moved with CL0 Alpha.

Does he know about this?

He doesn’t, but he has nightmares and I am the only one that can help and you know that.

OK… as you wish… but you will have to tackle that with him.

Thank you sir.

*********

One of the duties that Alpha’s had on the ships they traveled on was to take care of the refugees… and of their fears, so he had a busy day taking care of some of the refugees on board so not to notice the changes that happened around his cabin.

Ships sleep hours came and he headed towards his cabin only to find her there.

What are you doing here?

Well… I’ll stay here until we reach the planet…

Are you sure?

Well, I am… but ask the computer if you don’t trust me.

Computer, show me the location of the cabin assigned to Alpha – CL1 – 2AF0001.

The computer panel lit up and showed her cabins location.

Computer, show me the location of the cabin assigned to Alpha – CL0 – 1AM0001, use overlay.

The computer overlaid his location on the same map… the two positions coincided.

Well it looks like you were right… what are we going to do… ‘cause there is only one bed…

We could share it… if you don’t have a problem with it.

Alpha Centauri – part VIII
Alpha Centauri – part VII
Alpha Centauri – part VI
Alpha Centauri – part V
Alpha Centauri – part IV
Alpha Centauri – part III
Alpha Centauri – part II
Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part VIII

It was 2020, one of the first raids that the creatures conducted against the human race. They reached his village and the local police with small fire arms tried to make a stand… but they were many and coming in waves… killed everything in sight.

He was standing in his home with his wife when the monsters reached his home… they were standing there, face to face not sure what to do… kill both of them or not…

They made a move and impaled his wife with one of their many hands… ripping her one as if she were a melon… but they didn’t approach him, as if they were afraid of him, as if they sensed him as one of their own…

Being at peace with himself he waited for them to kill him because without his wife he was nothing… but they didn’t… leaving him there for the next wave…

As he sat into his now devastated home and life he started hearing voices… or he though he did… kill, kill, kill this planet is ours now… we have prevailed… we are one.

The second wave came… to clean up the mess that the first wave left behind, he sensed them coming… their thoughts screaming to him… kill everything in site… kill all the intruders… they came… one of them standing in front of him… looking at him…

He took control over it’s mind… as if he was the creature and the creature was him… one being… He climbed on the creatures back and headed towards the nearest space port… only to find the destruction there

There was only on ship still intact… he got in and headed of the planet… into the unknown... only to find what was left of the human forces on high orbit.

*******

She came rushing in his cabin only to find him asleep… squirming in his bed… with all other stuff thrown throughout the room… a nightmare. She woke him up…

What are you doing here?

You screamed for me to come here.

I didn’t do that… or at least I think I didn’t.

You did… I sensed you in my mind screaming for me to come.

Alpha Centauri – part VII
Alpha Centauri – part VI
Alpha Centauri – part V
Alpha Centauri – part IV
Alpha Centauri – part III
Alpha Centauri – part II
Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part VII

You know that I can crush you in an instant… but I would want not to do it. So what is your choice?

She struggled with the waves and she succeeded keeping her team safe… they could now take a break but not a very long one… they had to extract the remainder of the human population from the planet.

He went back to his shuttle and started the communication with his ship

Human population on the planet?

300 people left on the surface except the team.

Available ship capacity?

The ship can carry 500 persons, but there is no transport ship available that can get all the people from the surface in one go.

Transport ships available?

4 transporters with 75 places each.

Current locations of human populations on the surface?

Have all locations, can extract them all.

Alpha’s on board?

5 CL1 available.

Distance from the planet?

On high orbit.

Await further instructions.

Coming back to you. What have you decided?

I will never give up.

OK, as wish…

It felt his grip closing his mind. Harder and harder… no though could get out, it was trapped inside his mind… it floated above it’s troops but no command that he tried to issue got through.

To all Alpha CL1, a mental quarantine must be put in place over this planet.

To the commander: prepare the transporters and launch them in the medium orbit and await instructions.

Shall we finish this quick or do you want more?

No matter what you do to me, my brethren will have you all…

Whatever you say…

Mental quarantine in place.

If new Alpha’s become available, get them into supporting this mental quarantine and take care of the ones that might crack under the pressure.

Coming back… since you wanted to fight to the finish… I will let you leave till the end… as to see what happens…

I will now issue the order to all overseers to cease fire… or should I say that you will issue that order…

You bastard… you can’t do that…

Well watch me…

The order has been issued and all the attacks halted in place.

Send in the transporters and get all the people out. Open fire only for defense purposes. Give me an ETA.

Acknowledged, 5 standard hours to completion.

We have 5 hours give or take to discuss… any thoughts?

What are you human cause you are the only one that can do this to us?

Well, I suppose I can tell you since you will take this with you in your grave… I am the one that has created himself in order to get a better grip on this war and on the fight with you.

Why are you doing this to us, what reasons do you have?

Well I’m doing this out of revenge… and I admit that… this planet before you got here hosted close to 10 million people, now its total population is 300 persons. I could ask you the same thing, why are you doing this?

We are close to 100 billion beings and we need more room to expand. We try to conquer any livable planet and adapt it to our own needs. Up to now we managed to impose a peaceful domination on all the planets we conquered, but with you… you don’t let go.

And this dialogue went over and over for more that 5 standard hours, until the evacuation was finished.

We are all done… and now I will send a warning to your kin, unfortunately, to my regret with sacrificing you… I am really sorry.

He got into his craft and got of the ground, he was safely on the middle orbit, and he issued the command…

I am sorry… really sorry… but you will now self destruct… all overseers on the planet shall self-destruct at the same time.

He maintained a high orbit as the overseers destructed themselves putting the planet into chaos. All the troops started killing each-other, and the fight went on and on until no living soul remained.

Back on the ship, with the mental shield still in place he asked for a scan of the planet for life. There was no life present on the planet.

Issue the self-destruct command for all of our equipment that has been left on the planet.

On the high orbit, the ship passengers saw as points on the planets surface light up as the equipment that was once present there blew up.

Remove the mental quarantine and get the Alpha’s to recovery, NOW.

Alpha Centauri – part VI
Alpha Centauri – part V
Alpha Centauri – part IV
Alpha Centauri – part III
Alpha Centauri – part II
Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part VI

Her options were limited… She had to succeed or they were all doomed… her whole team… their mission… everything…

His shield made her job difficult… but she had to try… and try even harder because that was her only chance…

On the other side of the vale, Alpha was standing and observing… he did not want to get involved, he was not allowed to get involved, but knew he might have to, after all she was there.

What can I do? Our motto and conditioning says that ‘An Alpha is always by himself. An Alpha’s fight is just his own. No Alpha can help an Alpha.’ and thus I can not help her with the overseer but maybe I can do something.

She concentrated on the overseer and she could not sense him… nor if she did she could not ask for help.

Her team kept firing at the waves that kept coming… and coming… they managed to keep them at a safe distance but the monsters came in a higher number than ever… and she could do nothing to keep them at bay.

What the hell… I am trapped… if I loose the grip on the overseer the waves will keep coming… if I focus on the waves I will soon be overwhelmed… decisions… decisions… decisions… If only Alpha would be here… we could decide together…

Her mind let out a scream… Alpha… Alpha… help me…

Even with the great distance between them he could here her… but what can he do… he is far enough as not the have an influence on the waves… but close enough to control the overseer… if only she would let the overseer go and focus on the waves…

She was still fighting to decide… but to no avail… her team was almost wasted… the bullets were about to finish… they were trapped…

Suddenly she felt a mind near her own on the overseer… she felt him… it was Alpha to the rescue… his mind creeping near her own to get a grip on the overseer… he was helping… but that was not permitted… they would have his head for this…

Let me get a grip on him and then back off and take care of the waves… or else there is no chance to get out of here alive…

She listened and as he got the overseer the let go of it and focused on the waves… she could not tell her team what has just happened… thus she ordered them to gather some of the weapons that some of the monsters dropped and keep on firing… the order now was ‘shoot to kill’.

The overseer was now in a state of shock… he realized what has just happed… that she wasn’t any more in his mind trying to control him… but it didn’t sense him… he tried to move… to call upon his troops… but no thought got through… and then he realized the grip that was holding him… a force much stronger than the previous one… a force that gripped his mind as in a fist, nothing getting out and nothing coming in…

At this point there was only one thing it could do… sit by and watch as his troops are being decimated… they were out of his control… a though flourished into his mind… Let go… do not fight any more because you have no chance against me I can crush you in an instant… but I’d rather keep you in one piece… and your mind intact.

Alpha Centauri – part V
Alpha Centauri – part IV
Alpha Centauri – part III
Alpha Centauri – part II
Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part V

The room went dark, revealing the holographic grid… only she remained… the expression on her face changed… revealing a true soldier… even her clothes changed… into the white of the Alpha.

Where and when are we?

On deck 3, holographic room 1, Starship Nemesis, class Fighter, star-date 20891201.

Current location?

Orbit of the planet X12Y1, system X157, Alpha Centaury Galaxy.

Time to next mission?

Unavailable.

Current fighting status and locations?

Listing the fights taking into account the proximity of the starship:

- Planet X12Y1, system X157, team of 6, CL0 member present – need assistance

- Planet X15Y5, system Y12, team of 12, CL0 member present

- Planet X25Y12, system Z25, team of 12, CL0 member present

These planets are within a transit day. Shall I continue?

Enough.

Prepare me a shuttle… And he left the holographic room heading for the captains chamber.

CL0 Alpha reporting.

At ease and have a sit… there are things that you should know. I know I can not stop you in either way but… their position is strong and they are heavily fortified…

Ok, then I’ll go and get them out of there.

As you see fit.

He knew, that I knew she was down there… I’ll just go in slow… and thy and get the best of them to join us… I mean… sacrifice themselves for us… what a turn of events… they tried to conquer us and now… we use themselves to free us… how ironic…

Approaching the surface… he felt the second wave coming… he knew that at this point, without the ‘help’ of that overseer they could not get out of there…

Alpha Centauri – part IV
Alpha Centauri – part III
Alpha Centauri – part II
Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part IV

Hopefully Alpha will be back on his feet soon… because I don’t know how much of this beating we can take…

Let’s hope so… I know you can do most of what Alpha can do… but you know and I know that you do not have his strength.

You are right… and I’m not going to hate you for that… but now let’s prepare for another raid because they are coming…

The two men gathered the rest of their team… 6 in total… and started to prepare their stand. It was their usual routine for the past week… raid after raid… and they kept stopping them…

This raid was ugly… the enemies realized by now that Alpha was not there… and they kept coming in greater numbers… but they always managed to push them back without any casualties. But this time… they were almost overwhelmed…

Few of the enemies gave up their weapons and started walking back to their comrades as to kill them… that was the usual tactics an Alpha Squadron member would do… convert some of the enemies to fight for your side… but now few of them could be converted… and it was going to be a bloody fight…

They spotted the overseer… if he was that close it only meant that they were many… They realized that they would be soon overwhelmed if they remained in that spot. There were only two options… move out and kill the overseer from a distance causing their enemies to start fighting with one another… or convert the overseer and use this army for the next attack…

Her options were limited… and she knew that if she managed to convert the overseer this battle would have been won, buying them some more time…

What shall we do… blow up the overseer or convert him…

Well… I think first we should see if his protection is strong enough to be blown-up and than we shall he.

He issued the order that the overseer should be shot down from the sky… and they started shooting… but their bullets bounced of his field…

Well… I can say now that we are screwed… he has an energy field that makes our bullets bounce of… so we have three options… either you convert him… either we run… either we stand here and fight for as much as we can.

Oh f***… I can not do it without Alpha… but it looks like I have no other choice… I must try.

She focused on the overseer… loosing the control on the others… but his shield made the things even harder… her team started firing to cover her back… but with every enemy they took down the overseer self control grew stronger…

Stop killing them… just disable them as to do no real harm… I need as many as they can be if I am to succeed in converting the overseer.

Alpha Centauri – part III
Alpha Centauri – part II
Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part III

He woke up… his brain was screaming Alpha… but he did not know who he was yet…

Where am I?

You are in the same holographic room.

Why am I still here?

Because you still need to recover some more.

Maybe the drug did not have the desired effect and because they wanted my brain intact they did not want to risk an overdose.

Didn’t the drug have the desired effect?

It did, but you woke up too soon and now your mind has blocked some information to protect itself. You now need to rest as your mind will recover itself.

Ok… now I have all the information in my brain back, but can not access it because my brain is self protecting itself… so… all I can do now is just sit back and enjoy my stay with her…

Is this setting the only one that can exist or you can change it?

The setting is the one that your mind created and only you can change it and mold it to your own desire. One aspect you should know is that the program will not modify the setting if it considers to be harmful for your mind.

In that case I just want the setting to change to a beautiful mountain top.

It does not work that way… because you do not really want it… The program analyses what you want and will change the setting… but will not react to vocal commands.

It looks like I must really think of where I want to be and change the setting as to fit my needs… well I now think of a beautiful seaside, nobody around… just a house on the beach…

The scenery changed to what he desired… a beautiful house on a deserted beach…

It looks like it works this way… maybe I can try something else… I wish her to tell me all I need to know… and answer all my questions without evading the answers

Who is my wife?

At this point in time we can surely say that your wife is dead, and what is left of her is the image that you see before you.

This triggered a reaction in his brain, releasing all memories of his wife into his unaware brain… it looked as if it worked… there were two solutions… either the program gave complete answers either he was asking the correct questions… He decided to continue.

Who is Alpha?

You are Alpha, the first of your kind.

He felt like something was about to surface... so he needed to press on.

Why am I Alpha?

Because… because… because… and she began fading away…

He asked the wrong question… and the program could not handle it… there was a conflict…

If she can not answer my questions she is useless… although she looks like my ex wife… she is still a computer program… she will reboot… so…

Why am I Alpha?

Because… because… because… because… her image continued to fade into nothingness…

Because you were the first of your kind, the first one that could accurately control this holographic room… because you were the first one that made our enemies and conquerors afraid of us… her image was back in full force.

The first one that made our enemies and conquerors afraid of us? What did she want to say?

Images rushed into his mind… with fury and force… each of them falling into its place completing his memories… making him remember… all and everything…

He shouted: Code Alpha – CL0 – 1A…

Alpha Centauri – part II
Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part II

Waking up he had the feeling that all that happened was a dream, the entire hallway running was just in his mind, but he soon realized that it was real… he was still in the room in which he fell asleep. Getting up, he walked to the door that slid open revealing the hallway. As soon as he walked out the arrows on the wall lighted up.

He decided to go the opposite way, but he soon found out there was no way to go, but a dead end… he was compelled to walk the way the arrows pointed… there was no other way.

He walked the way the arrows pointed finally arriving to the room with the grey grid. He could not go any further… the only ways to go were in the grid room or back…

Getting back was pointless so he entered the room. The grid provided accurate lighting and no other source of light was obvious. Getting a few feet from the door it closed but it remained visible in the room. Feeling like a caged animal he went on to the middle of the room… or the point he considered the middle…

He went on moving in a circle. He did not see it first but the landscape kept changing behind him… he turned around and saw her… again… and he wondered if it were a dream or not…

His mind raced searching for answers… but he found none… searching for questions… and still none… so he said the first thing that crossed his mind…

Where am I?

You are in the place where you wanted to be… she answered.

This answer did not satisfy him, but he had to admit it was an answer to his question given by the formulation of the question.

What is this place? He continued.

Is the place you wanted to be when you entered that door, the answer came as she pointed to a spot in the distance where a door appeared.

Perhaps I am still asking the wrong questions… he said to himself trying to find the appropriate question to ask.

What is that door?

That is the entrance to the holographic room.

Good… finally got a little piece of information… I am in a Holographic room in a place that I do not know… let’s go on with the questions and see what else we can find.

Who are you? And please give me a complete answer…

I am your wife, or at least your wife as you remember her.

What are you?

I am a computer program designed by your mind.

Now I know I am in a holographic chamber with an image of someone who claims she is my wife, but I am not married… as far as I can remember.

Who am I and why am I here?

You are John Doe… and you are here because you want it.

You have no clue who I am and why I am here do you?

No, I am not cleared enough to have such information.

Ok… I can not find out from her why I am in here… maybe I can find out if I do need to be here and why.

Why did I create this place?

Because you felt the need to relax and turn your mind off for a period. It is standard protocol.

Do I need to be here?

Yes, you do.

Why?

Because your mind needs to be turned on again. You had some dreams, didn’t you?

Yes… but why?

Because the program was interrupted by a problem in the system.

How do I turn my mind back on?

You by yourself can’t, but with the help of an ‘antidote’ that will happen.

Ok, give me the antidote.

It started to be administered by the time you got into the holographic room. You are not feeling anything because the system gives you a small dosage because the system does not want your mind to get harmed. If you could sleep the drug will have better effect.

I will try… but…

Maybe after this I will find out how am I and why the persons in my memory called me Alpha…

Alpha Centauri – part I

Alpha Centauri - part I

It was already morning… they slept all night in each others arms… the sun crept through the window and shed light on their happy faces… they did not wake up yet but the sun will make the wake up in moments.

He woke up first and went to prepare some breakfast and than head to the garden to wait for her. The weather was beautiful, a clear blue sky and no trace of clouds.

She finally woke up and head for the garden wearing nothing but a transparent shirt revealing her beauty in the sun light. The sun had not evaporated the morning dew yet so the wet grass at her feet gave her pleasure. She sat down on the grass and asked for something to eat smelling already the breakfast he made for them. While he was getting the food she let herself in the wet grass, her shirt getting wet with the dew.

She loved it, being wet by the morning dew, waiting for him in the grass. He came, let the tray with the breakfast near her and started admiring the landscape, feeling that something is wrong in that landscape. He turned toward her and they started eating their breakfast, laughing and playing with one another.

The landscape changed, and he could feel it… he turned her face from her and he seen that the mountain that was previously on his right now has disappeared, and that part of the sky was turning bloody red. Upon turning his head back to her he saw the grass changing color from green to bright blue.

“Something is wrong” he said to himself… and moments later she disappeared leaving a gray grid in the place she was staying. He started feeling trapped in some kind of experiment, one in which somebody was playing with his mind.

He did not have the time to realize but all the landscape disappeared, even the breakfast he cooked leaving him behind in a room with a gray grid on the walls not larger than 10 by 10 meters. Upon looking around this ‘room’ his eyes stumbled upon a strange looking door that should not have been there. He realized that the door was his only way out he walked to it and could not see any handle or knob he could turn to open the door.

Getting closer to the door it opened revealing behind that door a hallway, being the only way to go… the second he tried to take a step outside his mind started racing bringing out some memories that he never knew they were there. He remembered himself in a uniform, a black one with no insignia. The memory faded as fast as it appeared leaving him with a bad taste in his mouth.

He walked into the hallway and the walls started flashing an arrow. He realized that there was no other way and being faced with the choice between the room and the hallway following the arrow.

As he started down the hallway he did not see any other doors but being too weakened he did not actually cared, so he kept following the arrows.

Few steps later his mind brought to the surface another image… a dark field, filled with bodies, only himself and some others were standing… all in dark uniforms with no insignia. One of the others approached and told him “There is no one alive, Alpha”. His mind refused to play back more of that memory leaving him in the hallway without power to go on but he struggled and kept on walking.

He couldn’t see any bends in the hallway, no doors… as he was moving through a long and strait hallway. In the distance he saw an open door, the arrows on the wall pointing towards it. He kept walking to that door, slower and slower now, hanging on the walls because his feet could not keep him up any longer.

He had two more steps to the door when his mind decided to play another trick on him… bringing up another picture… with him in the middle of a city, with a frightened boy by his side and many minds to fight… same black uniform… This memory made him collapse to the floor, two feet away from the door. With his last strength me managed to drag his body towards the door and enter… on the other side there was a plain room, with only a bed, a monitor and a light shining from the ceiling. He dragged his body in the bed and collapsed… getting into a deep trance like sleep.

Ceva ce am scris - Partea a III-a si ultima

In semineu focul ardea linistit, luminand toata camera. Totul era invaluit intr-o lumina difuza, calda si placuta. Parca acum era mai frumos ca niciodata… Pe blana din fata semineului era o prezenta, Ea, luminata la fel de difuz ca si intreaga camera, o prezenta parca fara materie, fara substanta, dar totusi era acolo, mai vie ca niciodata, fermecatoare ca intotdeauna.

In cadrul usii statea El, cu o sticla si doua pahare, fermecat de prezenta Ei, asteptand parca ceva, privind si admirand frumusetea Ei in lumina semineului. Reflexele rosiatice ale focului cadeau pe sticla ce o tinea in mana facand-o de un rosu aprins, dand parca viata vinului, dar totusi nedefinit…

Parca simtindu-i prezenta, Ea se intoarse si il vazu. Se uita la El si parca il chema, fara cuvinte, fara gesturi, doar priviri pline de inteles. Se apropie fara zgomot, fara a deranja nimic. Timpul parca nu mai avea substanta, parca nu ar fi existat.

Puse paharele jos, langa semineu si sticla langa ele. Se aseza pe blana langa Ea si o prinse in brate. Ea parca se topi, se mula perfect pe bratele lui, niciodata mai perfect, niciodata mai intim. El se intinse dupa sticla, turna in paharele care capatasera aspecte rosiatice atat din pricina vinului cat si din pricina focului. Ii dadu ei unul dintre pahare si pe celalalt il lua el; ciocnira, fara o cauza anume, doar pentru ei, pentru fericirea lor, pentru iubirea lor.

Se intinse dupa un volum, ascuns undeva langa semineu. Cartea era calda, o caldura placuta, fara a fi prea fierbinte, indeajuns sa incalzeasca. I-l dadu. Putu citi uimirea in ochii ei, o uimire simpla si profunda, fara ascunzisuri. Era primul lui volum, dedicat Ei.

Se topira intr-o fericire profunda, fara egal. Devenira una, o singura entitate, o singura fiinta, un singur suflet, un tot. Toata noaptea se topira unul in celalalt, in fata semineului, pe fundal auzindu-se ceva fara o anume armonie, dar intr-o unitate perfecta, ca o simfonie.

Dimineata ii gasi imbratisati, fara a se deosebi unul de celalalt, niciodata mai perfect…

Se trezira mangaiati de razele soarelui, focul se stinsese de mult, dar nu le era frig, se incalzeau unul pe celalalt…

Ceva ce am scris - Partea a II-a

Ar trebui sa mai scriu ceva, intrucat nu am mai scris de mult… se auzi in camera goala, dar nu am nici o idee, absolut nici una. El incepu sa se plimbe prin camera in cautarea unei idei, unei surse, a ceva care sa il puna pe un drum pe care mai umblase candva, pe care il cunoscuse atat de bine. Ce bine mi-ar prinde acum putina inspiratie, ceva acolo care sa ma ajute… De undeva din mintea scriitorului incep sa incolteasca cele doua ganduri Blue si Dark. Ce ar fi sa ii dam si noi o mana de ajutor. Dark tu ai vre-o idee, ca mie sincer sa fiu nu imi vine nici una, spuse Blue. Nici mie nu imi vine nimic. Dar hai sa ne gandim in continuare, poate ne vine vre-o idee, raspunse Dark.

Cei doi se pusera pe gandit, si astfel in El se lasa o liniste adanca. Ce liniste este, mai am putin si parca ma pot auzi gandind. Ma duc sa dau drumul la ceva muzica ca nu se mai poate asa. Mai am putin si innebunesc spuse El. Se aseza in fata calculatorului si ii dadu drumul, porni ultima versiune de Winamp si dadu drumul la prima melodie pe care puse mouse-ul. In camera incepura sa se auda acordurile unei melodii destul de vechi, dintr-o epoca parca de mult apusa. La ce am dat drumul aici, suna foarte cunoscuta melodia, atat de familiar si parca atat de distant. Aaaaaaa, era Apocaliptica, de cand nu am ascultat eu asa ceva… Se vede ca nu am mai ascultat de mult, caci nu am recunoscut-o destul de repede, ar fi trebuit sa imi dau seama mai repede. Se arunca distrat pe canapea si inchise ochii, parca ar fi visat la ceva frumos.

Focul din semineu ii lumina fata intr-o lumina rosiatica, placuta si calda, si curand el cazu intr-un somn adanc si care se va dovedi plin de inspiratie. Respiratia care ii era greoaie la inceput capata acum o usurinta desavarsita, ca si cum nimic nu ar fi contat… Totusi in linistea noptii se mai auzea ceva, ceva de o frumusete desavarsita, era o alta respiratie care se auzea din camera de langa, o respiratie atat de desavarsita incat parea muzica. Era Ea, cea aleasa, cea speciala, singura.

Trecu putin timp pana Ea se trezi, parca simtind ca patul este gol… Pasi usor catre cealalta camera unde in semineu ardea focul, mai puse o bucata de lemn pe foc, si observa la lumina focului care devenise un pic mai mare si mai stralucitor ca pe blana din fata semineului dormea El, luminat de foc, leganat de un somn profund linistitor dar si de muzica care se auzea ca o adiere in camera.

Se aseza langa El si ii privea fata luminata de focul bland din semineu. Nu dorea sa il mute de acolo, dormea atat de linistit, parea atat de senin si fericit, incat Ea se intinse langa el si il lua de mana. Simtindu-i atingerea, El isi schimba pozitia si o cuprinse in brate, fapt la care Ea nu se astepta, dar era atat placuta imbratisarea lui incat nu protesta si parca se mula pe trupul lui simtindu-i toate curbele. Curand adormi si Ea, leganata parca de atingerea lui.

Privita din afara aceasta contopire a celor doua trupuri parea divina, parca devenisera un intreg unitar dar totusi format din doua parti distincte care se completeaza reciproc, fiecare dintre ele in acelasi timp si intreg si parte.

In tot acest timp in mintea scriitorului cele doua ganduri discutau… Ai gasit ceva? ti-a venit vre-o idee? Oricat de mult m-am gandit nu mi-a venit nimic, nici cea mai mica farama de inspiratie… spuse Blue. Dark dadu negativ din cap, si se lasa inca o perdea de liniste, o liniste chinuitoare si apasatoare. Ce ar fi sa mergem la Ea? Poate ne poate ajuta. Poate ne da un sfat, spuse Dark. Si astfel cei doi pornira, nestiind unde, dar parca mergand spre un anumit punct, spre o anumita conditie la care inca nici nu stiau ca aveau sa ajunga.

Pentru a putea accede la conditia Ei cei doi trebuiau sa se transforme, sa sufere o metamorfoza, sa treaca din gand in spirit pur, dar pentru asta era nevoie de o transformare atat materiala cat si oarecum spirituala. Prima transformare pe care cei doi o suferira fu cea la nivel spiritual, intrucat parca pierdura o serie de sentimente fara sens si substanta. A doua transformare fu cea la nivel material, devenind astfel asemanatori cu Ea, dar pastrand o oarecare asemanare cu ceea ce fusesera inainte.

Intr-un final ajunsera in fata a ceea ce semana cu un portal. Era un cerc imens de piatra cu incrustatii egiptene si maiase pe el, ceva aparte, foarte special. Odata ajunsi aici cei doi se oprira, parca stiind ca aici trebuie sa ajunga, ca aici era punctul final al calatoriei lor si ca pentru a ajunge la ea trebuiau doar sa treaca prin portal. Trecem, nu trecem… ce facem Dark? spuse Blue. Eu spun sa incercam sa trecem, raspunse Dark. Cei doi incercara sa treaca prin portal dar ceva similar cu o plasa dar total invizibila nu ii lasa sa treaca mai departe, semn ca nu erau inca pregatiti sa faca trecerea de la gand la spirit. Acum ce facem, incotro o luam? se intreba Dark. Pai nu stiu. Hai sa mai stam putin pe aici si vedem dupa aceea ce vom face, ii raspunse Blue.

La putin timp prin portal iesi Ea si ii intreba uimita: Ce e cu voi aici? Cei doi ii raspunsera intr-o singura voce. Am venit sa te cautam, avem nevoie de tine. Scriitorul are nevoie de o noua idee si noi incercam sa-l ajutam dar se pare ca nu reusim. Ea le raspunse cu o tristete nedisimulata: As vrea sa va pot ajuta dar nu pot face nimic. Nu am control asupra inspiratiei ce vine din exterior. Atunci cand ea vine din interior o pot controla si ajuta sa se dezvolte dar atunci cand ea vine din exterior nu am nici o putere asupra ei. Imi pare rau ca nu va pot ajuta in aceasta problema. Totusi ma bucur ca ati ajuns pana aici, ma bucur ca nu v-a fost frica de ceea ce se putea intampla cu voi, v-ati transformat in ceva cu mult mai frumos decat erati inainte. Acum trebuie sa faceti cale intoarsa si sa va folositi de ceea ce ati invatat in aceasta calatorie pentru al ajuta pe El. Va urez drum bun si sa stiti ca atunci cand veti avea nevoie de mine trebuie doar sa va ganditi la mine si voi fi langa voi sa va ajut.

Cei doi se intoarsera si isi reluara locurile lor, dar acum erau cu mult mai intelepti, si cu mult mai evoluati, puteau sa ia oricand forma de spirit si sa calatoreasca in lumea Ei, sa stea de vorba cu ea, sa devina un tot.

In camera era o lumina palida, de la focul care era pe cale sa se stinga. El se trezi, mai puse cateva bucati de lemn pe foc si la focul care tocmai prindea culoare si forma statea si contempla frumusetea Ei, perfectiunea trupului Ei. Nu mai vazuse niciodata ceva atat de frumos, ceva atat de minunat. Se apleca asupra ei si o saruta, un sarut plin de pasiune, plin de iubire. Ea ii raspunse la sarut si impreuna se topira intr-un singur sarut, o singura rasuflare, un tot.

El incepu sa ii sarute minunatul trup plin de pasiune, simtindu-i in totalitate gustul, ca un om insetat ce bea dupa mult timp. Ii sorbi trupul cu nesat, cu o sete continua de cunoastere. Ii saruta fiecare particica a trupului, incet si cu pasiune, facand-o pe Ea sa doreasca sa nu se opreasca niciodata, incet si cu pasiune. La fiecare sarutare a lui trupul ei raspundea parca frematand, incet si cu o pasiune uimitoare… Se topira intr-o intreaga noapte de dragoste, incet si cu pasiune…

Tot timpul era de partea lor, ziua intarzia sa apara, erau luminati de focul din camin… Pasiunea lor era nesfarsita. Nici cu venirea zilei pasiunea lor nu avea sfarsit.

Noaptea ce veni ii gasi imbratisati, Ea dormind in bratele Lui, niciodata mai fericita, niciodata mai fericit. Dintr-o data in camera se facu lumina, se aprinse focul din semineu, ca prin farmec, un pic de magie a Ei, nimic mai mult... Asa imbratisati dormira toata noaptea, luminati si incalziti de focul din semineu, niciodata mai fericiti.

Ceva ce am scris - Partea I

“Era o dimineata senina de vara…” Dar ce cliseu… se auzi deodata din strafundurile mintii unui scriitor. Cu siguranta poate gasi ceva mai bun… se auzi din cealalta parte a mintii aceluiasi scriitor. Toate astea se intamplau in mintea unui scriitor asezat in fata unui ecran de computer. Hei!!! Potoliti-va, cineva incearca sa scrie aici. Daca tot aveti de comentat macar faceti comentarii constructive si interesante, spuse o voce atotstapanitoare. Auzind acestea cele doua ganduri spusera: Se pare ca are dreptate…

Deodata se lasa in camera o liniste adanca si profunda. Afara vantul sufla cu putere, troienind totul in calea sa. Nu se mai vazuse de mult o astfel de iarna cu atat de multa zapada. In semineu ardea focul aruncand in camera o lumina placuta si o caldura binefacatoare. Totul parca dormea in jur. Tot ceea ce lumina camera era focul din semineu si ecranul calculatorului scriitorului nostru, restul dormita.

Deodata se auzi… Mama ce liniste, ma pot auzi gandind. Eu asa nu pot lucra. Ce-o fi la televizor? (vocea atotputernica). Astfel scriitorul se ridica de la birou si se indrepta spre televizor. Ii da drumul si cu telecomanda in mana incepe sa ‘navigheze’ pe posturile TV. Ce porcarii, nu e nimic bun de vazut la TV, nici macar muzica buna nu e. Unde e MTV-ul? A, am uitat, nu mai e de mult pe cablu… Ce pacat, asta e. Scriitorul nostru inchise televizorul si arunca telecomanda pe patul din spatele lui. Se aseza din nou in fata tastaturii sperand sa mai poata scrie ceva.

Ce lipsa de idei am, parca nu as fi eu. Voi nu ma puteti ajuta? (prima voce pe care pentru simplitate o vom numi Blue). Eu nu te pot ajuta intrucat ma aflu in aceeasi situatie ca tine. Daca nu ne-ar fi oprit ala… poate acum am fi avut cate o idee si el nu s-ar fi aflat in acest blocaj. Ghinion, mai ales ghinionul lui… Ha, ha, ha… :). (cealalta voce care va purta numele Dark). Ba, potoliti-va ca va execut… in momentul ala aveam nevoie de liniste si pace, nu de ciondaneala, de unde sa stiu eu ca o sa am acest blocaj. Oricum e liniste in camera, voi ce ati vrea TV sau combina? Oricum va anunt ca la TV dupa umila mea parere nu e nimic interesant. (vocea atotputernica si atotstapanitoare pe care o vom numi Eu). Mie imi place asa, e liniste si pace, functionez mai bine asa, spuse Blue. Totusi e prea liniste, da drumul la ceva intrucat simt ca innebunesc de atata liniste. Spune-i Eu aluia pe care il conduci sa dea drumul la combina daca spui ca la TV nu e nimic interesant, zise Dark.

Scriitorul aflat la birou in fata tastaturii, pune mana pe telecomanda si da drumul la combina, pe un post de radio oarecare. Au, ce dracu’ este asta. Se numeste atentat auditiv se planse Blue. Nu te-ai prins inca? Ce se aude se numeste manea! Ba, Eu, schimba dracu’ postu’ ca ne omori cu zile. Gaseste orice altceva, ca murim aici comanda Dark. Eu se conforma si al nostru scriitor schimba postul. Din nefericire pe orice alt post radio tot manea se auzea. Treci ba pe caseta sau CD, nu vezi ca altceva nu se gaseste? grai Dark. Se pare ca ai dreptate. Ce-om avea pe caseta? A, mi-am adus aminte, nu avem nici o caseta in combina, dar avem niste CD-uri. Stai putin ca ii dau drumu’ imediat anunta Eu.

Camera se umplu de sunete si parca prinse viata, parca focul capata alta culoare, alta stralucire. Camera parca era mai frumoasa. Pana si iarna de afara parea mai placuta, mai frumoasa.

Ce muzica e asta? se intreba parca retoric Dark? Nimeni nu ii raspunse… nici Blue nici Eu. In prima pauza dintre melodii Dark intreba din nou si Blue ii raspunse. Ma, nu te-ai prins inca? Este Alicia Keys… Dupa un moment de tacere… A, de asta imi parea cunoscuta… stiam eu ca am mai auzit vocea asta pe undeva… Da’ canta misto tipa… relua Dark.

In ‘linistea’ noptii mai aparu o voce Ea… cea care ii guverneaza gandirea si apare in toate visele sale. Ea se aseza intr-un colt si incepu sa priveasca si sa astepte. Urmarise toata conversatia de unde se afla, adanc ascunsa in inima scriitorului.

Mai potoliti-va un pic, nu vedeti ca cineva incearca sa lucreze aici se auzi vocea suava a Ei.

Deodata toate vocile disparura si in camera se mai auzea doar click-ul regulat al tastelor. Scriitorul nostru isi regasise inspiratia. Scria cu un ritm incredibil, scria ca si cum de ceea ce scria depindea propria sa viata. In semineu inca mai licarea focul, muzica inca se mai auzea in surdina. Doar o singura voce se mai auzea… a EI…